Throughout the New Testament, the apostles consistently advocate for unity within the Body of Christ. As Christianity spread beyond its original Jewish context, new believers from diverse cultural backgrounds were coming to know the Lord. The clash of cultures created new tensions that required a response.
Gentile believers accused Jewish Christians of not caring for their widows as much as they did for their own. Jewish believers sought to impose their laws and customs on their Greek and Roman brothers and sisters. It’s no surprise, then, that Paul would spend considerable time in his letter to the Ephesians reminding them of the uncommon unity they possess in the Spirit.
In Ephesians 4, he strongly reminds them that maintaining such unity requires effort. In verse 2, he specifically offers three essential character traits that must be present in every believer, urging them to live, “with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love.”
Humility
St. Augustine famously wrote, “What is the chief of Christian graces? Humility, humility, humility.”
Today, we admire humility, even if we struggle to demonstrate it. But to Paul’s first-century audience, it was despised as a character trait. It ran in direct contradiction to the honor and shame dynamics of their culture. In a society that feared shame more than death, humility was a difficult pill to swallow.
In calling the believers to humility, he urges them to prioritize the honor and respect of others above their own. This is not a call to suppress our opinions or convictions. Instead, it’s about utilizing our beliefs to edify rather than to shame, humiliate, or pridefully prove ourselves. It doesn’t matter how right we are about our beliefs or convictions if we are simply using them to boost our own pride at the cost of someone else.
Gentleness
This is not the only place where Paul encourages his readers to show gentleness. While listing the fruits of the Spirit in Galatians 5, he mentions it alongside self-control. These two traits work hand-in-hand, especially in the context of conflict and disagreement.
Many of us avoid conflict like the plague, but when handled correctly, it can be beneficial and edifying. When we face differences in theology, vision, or preference within the church, the conflict that naturally arises can sharpen us, reveal blind spots in our character, and help us make better-informed decisions. When Paul calls for gentleness, it is not a call to avoid conflict, but a call to approach it wisely and humbly.
It’s also important to note that gentleness is not a form of weakness. Rather, it is strength under control. While it is good to hold strong convictions, tactlessness, brashness, and a “tell it like it is” attitude simply have no place in the Body of Christ. When someone is harsh, it shuts down any possibility of a productive conversation. But the one who uses his words judiciously fosters healthy conflict that honors the Lord. True strength lies in knowing how to express our opinions in a loving and wise manner.
Patience
Finally, he calls the Ephesians to a spirit of patience. With this command, Paul recognizes something important – people are difficult. Patience is about how we respond when others in the church fail to demonstrate true humility and gentleness.
Paul elaborates on this by challenging the Ephesians to “[bear] with one another in love.” This means tolerating those who may be difficult or even foolish. We all have people in our lives who annoy us, who can’t read the room, who constantly say the wrong thing, or who rub us the wrong way. But this isn’t the type of person he has in mind.
Paul often uses this same Greek term rendered as “bearing” to describe persecution or personal turmoil. In this context, he’s talking about those who are truly difficult to love. This means being patient with those who offend us, make us feel inferior, test our capacity for gentleness, or have brought painful wounds into our lives. Demonstrating biblical patience involves continuing to serve them, even when they don’t deserve it or want it.
Patience does not mean overlooking sin or error in another’s life. Rather, it means gently correcting those behaviors while persevering with the person, praying for them, and not giving up on them.
Putting It Together
It’s interesting that Paul does not provide the Ephesians with a series of tips, tricks, or life hacks to foster greater unity in the church. He doesn’t even address specific behaviors. Instead, he challenges them to embody character traits that reflect hearts continually renewed in the Spirit. These traits do not come naturally to the human soul, but they express the character of Christ.
Which ones do you struggle to demonstrate the most?
